Has Everyone Taken Leave of their Minds?

Current listing on eBay for four (4) twenty five (25) dollar ($) gift certificates. Bidding is now at $105.38. WTF? I really want to understand that there is some great logic behind this. I just can't get there. If you can figure it out, please let me know. If this sale closes and the items are paid for, I *clearly* am in the wrong business...

Apple has nothing to fear...

It takes all my effort and interest to muster a 'WTF?' after watching this opening salvo in a $300 million marketing campaign. If you are looking for a new VP of marketing, I suspect there is a new candidate in town today, schlepping his resume from door-to-door...

Sarah Palin and Political Truth

As anyone who knows me even vaguely can attest, my political leanings basically boil down like a fine fish reduction to: "I'm happy to pay my way, however my taxes are obscenely high and need to be substantially lowered you bastards" and "Even though we must be socially appropriate, I still plan on tipping my bum every time I see him because clearly any money I give to organized charities is sure-the-heck not making it to him". People that know me also know that I tend to waver about these leanings. Quite frequently. Oh, and on principle I hate extremists/zealots of any ilk. And rhetoric (but mostly because I like saying the word).

So in the fine spirit of this political season I give you "things you should know about Sarah Palin, with no commentary from me". (Except to say I really liked her brother when he was in Monty Python. He was pretty good in Life of Brian. Nothing too exciting since then. Oh, except for a fish named Wanda).

1. Palin recently said that the war in Iraq is "God's task." She's even admitted she hasn't thought about the war much—just last year she was quoted saying, "I've been so focused on state government, I haven't really focused much on the war in Iraq." ^{1, 2}
2. Palin has actively sought the support of the fringe Alaska Independence Party. Six months ago, Palin told members of the group—who advocate for a vote on secession from the union—to "keep up the good work" and "wished the party luck on what she called its 'inspiring convention.'" ³
3. Palin wants to teach creationism in public schools. She hasn't made clear whether she thinks evolution is a fact.⁴
4. Palin doesn't believe that humans contribute to global warming. Speaking about climate change, she said, "I'm not one though who would attribute it to being manmade." ⁵
5. Palin has close ties to Big Oil. Her inauguration was even sponsored by BP. ⁶
6. Palin is extremely anti-choice. She doesn't even support abortion in the case of rape or incest. ⁷
7. Palin opposes comprehensive sex-ed in public schools. She's said she will only support abstinence-only approaches. ⁸
8. As mayor, Palin tried to ban books from the library. Palin asked the library how she might go about banning books because some had inappropriate language in them—shocking the librarian, Mary Ellen Baker. According to Time, "news reports from the time show that Palin had threatened to fire Baker for not giving "full support" to the mayor." ⁹
9. She DID support the Bridge to Nowhere (before she opposed it). Palin claimed that she said "thanks, but no thanks" to the infamous Bridge to Nowhere. But in 2006, Palin supported the project repeatedly, saying that Alaska should take advantage of earmarks "while our congressional delegation is in a strong position to assist." ¹⁰

Sources

1. "Palin: Iraq war 'a task that is from God'," Associated Press, September 3, 2008
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=24701&id=13709-10098007-o0Q6cSx&t=6
2. "Palin wasn't 'really focused much' on the Iraq war," ThinkProgress, August 30, 2008
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=24702&id=13709-10098007-o0Q6cSx&t=7
3. "The Sarah Palin Digest," ThinkProgress, September 4, 2008
http://thinkprogress.org/palin-digest/
4. "McCain and Palin differ on issues," Associated Press, September 3, 2008
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=24703&id=13709-10098007-o0Q6cSx&t=8
5. Ibid
6. The Sarah Palin Digest," ThinkProgress, September 4, 2008
http://thinkprogress.org/palin-digest/
7. Ibid
8. Ibid.
9. "Mayor Palin: A Rough Record," Time, September 2, 2008
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=24704&id=13709-10098007-o0Q6cSx&t=9
10. The Sarah Palin Digest," ThinkProgress, September 4, 2008
http://thinkprogress.org/palin-digest/

Facebook - From the Future

Political action site MoveOn.org claims numerous success over the years. Their most astounding claim is that in December 2008 (Yes - 4 months in the future from the date of this post) they will successfully lobby Facebook to reverse a privacy gaff that it will make. All I can say is, sign me up for MoveOn.org, ace manipulators of future history!

Fruity Oaty Bar - Not for River

Why Hempfest, Seattle 2008 Sucked

Hempfest sucked as all attendees had to run the Gestapo-JesusFreak-HoneyBucket gauntlet before even entering the highly commercialized event.

The Gauntlet:

1. Security Gestapo - located at the south entrance. Unpleasant, unprofessional. Forcing attendees up a steep path with no explanation. No please, just gruffly delivered instructions. I asked one why: "just get up there" was the reply...

2. Jesus Freaks - all attendees were berated by the barely coherent bellowing of the anorak squad (sans anoraks). Apparently there is no alcohol in hell, but that's OK as we're all going to burn there anyway. The indiscriminate accusations were actually quite hilarious. Do these people actually think that they are doing any good. Sorry, do these people actually think?

3. Honey Buckets - not tucked away unobtrusively, rather lined up as privy's on parade. For a short while I thought the blue houses were the main attraction. They were very valuable for shy tokers though...

Special mention goes to the "No RFID" protesters. As I was leaving the even I overheard an exchange between a pedestrian and a lady holding a "No RFIDs" sign. It went like this:

Pedestrian: "But I just want to ask you a few questions about why you object to RFID's"
Clueless Sign Holder: "No - I'm just being paid to hold this sign"

I doubt the sign holder would know an RFID if it chewed her in the ass.

Rant: 5th Avenue Theater, Seattle - UnCool

August 15 and I find myself with a balcony seat to watch the world premier of "Shrek the Musical" at the 5th Ave. Theater in Seattle. The show program includes a very informative article "From the Desk of David Armstrong - Producing Artistic Director" announcing the opening of the fabulous 'Downstairs at the 5th (DAT) Rehearsal and Education Space". It's 14,730 square feet of studios, a green room, stage management and visiting artist offices. David goes on to positively gush about investment made in this space and to thank the grand folk involved.

David, I always thought that theater was about the audience experience and their enjoyment of that which is being presented. Take my advice, go sit in the balcony (in fact go sit in "GT CTR Row: C Seat: 10") for an evening performance of Shrek and then tell me how much you enjoyed the show. That's if you are not then ensconced in a cold shower for the remainder of the evening trying to get you core body temperature below the 25 gazillion degrees to which it has risen as the 5th ave theater has *terrible* air conditioning. I don't just mean a little warm and uncomfortable. I mean sweat pouring down my face and me tossing a mental coin every couple of minutes to determine if I should just bail. And it wasn't me. Lot's of folks sweating the night through Shrek's swamp.

A suggestion. Redirect any money left over from the DAT5 space and invest it in the enjoyment of your visiting public (who do, after all, pay the bills). Sorry if your fancy "visiting artist office" won't get painted this season -- but the theater-going public will appreciate watching your productions in something that doesn't resemble a Thai sauna (without the happy ending).

The good news. The Shrek show program made a passable fan for a good percentage of the audience.

Let's extensivley raise goats in all families

Rant: USPO No help at all

I need to post a birthday card to my Mom in the UK. How much does it cost in postage I wonder? Try asking the USPO. In order to get a price calculation you need a scale that will weigh your mail. Sorry USPO but I don't keep a freakin' postage scale at home. Now that may amaze you but it's the honest-to-god truth. I bet lots of other people don't have a postage scale at home either. While I know that this must astound you (how reckless that the mailing public could possibly be sending missives without accurately determing the weight of said communication) perhaps you could help me (and probably lots of other folks) by, oh I don't know, listing the costs for mailing popular items. Like birthday cards. I bet you carry a few of those each day.

I Finally Succumb to Propoganda

Knowing how information can be easily distorted and manipulated by the proponents of either side of an argument, I tend to apply a critical and somewhat cynical eye to everything I'm told. After seeing the latest Pam Anderson video - which is shocking (and not in the way you may expect ;-) I'm sold. I'm a true believer that KFC is the physical manifestation of the Antichrist (or at best are a bunch of scumbags than deserve the same treatment they meter out to their "product"). I've been a vegetarian for about 10 years now. This just allows me to walk around with an even smugger grin on my face... Really folks - don't eat at KFC.







Watch more videos at KentuckyFriedCruelty.com.

Rant: Plastic bags; oh the Humanity

The Seattle City Council, in a wondrous decision that is sure to be reversed within a few months, have slapped a 20cent charge on plastic shopping bags (effective 1 January 2009). Why? Well they want to encourage the use of reusable bags, reduce landfill oh, and generate some revenue for the city (I suspect the latter reason is the real driver behind this decision). I have a pretty big problem with nanny-state politics. I employ reusable bags for the majority of my grocery shopping, however I do revert to plastic (or paper) shopping bags when I'm caught short. After the initial use of the plastic bags they get recycle via GreenScapes (for which I pay a tidy sum). So as far as I'm concerned, I pay for the recycling of the plastic bags that I use. Charging me 20cents per bag is charging me twice for recycling. No thanks. Oh, and the bags hitherto have been "free" - their cost has been baked into the cost of groceries. Will the cost of the groceries be reduced now that the stores are no longer giving out "free" bags. I can say with almost 100% confidence: Ha!

It's not the 20 cents. It's the principle. I'm sure I'll forget about this until early in January when I'm in my local Safeway and will be facing a charge of a couple of dollars for plastic bags ("no - you can squeeze one more item in that bag - I don't need another 20cent bag to carry a 50cent newspaper..."). Sorry Safeway, but I'm going to be walking away from the stack of filled bags. I don't pay for plastic bags just to line the pockets of the city council. I know you didn't pass the law - but you didn't lobby sufficiently strongly against it. And perhaps if enough folks get pissed off you'll get the message and pass it on to the city council. Or I'll just buy from Amazon Fresh...;-)

Delhi. Wost. Airport. Ever.

Since I'm still fuming over the rank ineptitude of the management responsible for Delhi airport I'll just give you the blow-by-blow account.

1. Arrive at Delhi on flight from Chennai, de-plane and board airport bus.
2. Drive the full length of the runway, cross end of runway, drive full length of runway in the direction from whence we came (total time about 20 mins). [During this time there were no takeoff's or landings - clearly Delhi airport personnel have not learned the skill of using a raidio to get clearance to traverse an active runway]
3. Approach international terminal transfer desk to, well, transfer. Told to pick up luggage that I had checked all the way through to Seattle. Only airport in the world where I have had to transfer my own luggage...
4. Picked up luggage, went back to transfer desk to be pointed (somewhat vaguely) in the direction of a bus.
5. Exit terminal building onto ramp. No directions to follow. No one pointing the way. Many random buses from which to select. No security. I could have gone wandering off within the secure ramp area with no challenge.
6. Found bus. Boarded. Encountered familar pattern: Drive the full length of the runway, cross end of runway, drive full length of runway in the direction from whence we came (total time about 20 mins). Correct. Back to the terminal from where I had just de-deplaned.
7. So bottom line is that it took about an hour and a half for me to travel, with luggage, about 100 yards.
8. And it was hot. And humid. Very, very humid.
   
9. Conclude the Delhi airport authority is run by Bozo the clown and several close relatives.

Weeks Outage for BofA

Attempting to login to my online Bank of America account at 3:29am, Monday 4th August I was presented with the following message:

Online Banking is currently unavailable in your area due to scheduled system maintenance. Online Banking will become available beginning at 7:30 A.M. Eastern Time on Sunday

So I have to wait until next Sunday until I can conduct on-line banking? Nice work Bank of America...

As a long time customer I thought I'd do the right thing and send them e-mail about this mistake. Of course you can't send e-mail to Bofa unless you are logged in, hence there is no reasonable way to report problems logging into the site. Nice.

Maltesers - Courtesy of Billy Bragg

"They rolled rapidly like Maltesers on the floor of a bus that was breaking hard". Bill told me to write this down. (Well, me and about 2,000 other people).

Why is there no Cheese in Chinese Food?

Seriously. No Cheese. See.

Question

How do you hold an idiot blog reader in suspense?

Rant: Rule Governing Arrival Time.

I find it odd that the greater the complexity governing arrival, the closer the actual time of arrival tends to be to the planned time. For example:

1. Send a spacecraft from Earth to Mars (~10 months travel time, Spaceship) and it touches down to the second;
2. Fly from San Jose to Seattle (2 hours, Jet) and the flight arrives within 5 minutes of scheduled arrival;
3. Ask for a Pacific Gas and Electric employee to visit your house (5 minutes, car) and the best they can do is to provide a four hour window.....

Now, I'm sure we can all think of many exceptions to this rule. But it still pisses me off that PG&E scheduling is so crap. Get a day planner!

(4. If your significant other is asked to do a job and has zero distance to travel and zero complexity associated with getting to the site of the intended work (e.g. bathroom to fix a leaky faucet), the work will never get done).

Cool App: Brand Tags

Brand Tags is described as a collective experiment in brand perception. Site visitor are presented with brand names and are asked to enter the first thing that pops into their head. Results are presented similar to 'tag clouds' the size of the font employed for each user entry is proportional to the number of times that entry is made. Fun exercise is to browse the tag clouds trying to guess the brand from just the tags - it's eerily easy to do in the vast majority of case. And boy, do people have a negative brand perception of Microsoft... Amazon does well.

Amazon - "In their own words"

Finished work on editing the Website Platform entry for the Amazon video contest. I've created a cut-down version here with just the animation and staff shots. Enjoy.

Welcome to the 20th Century Award

This week's "welcome to the 20th century" award is presented to Virginia Mason hospital in Seattle, WA. While attempting to pay my bill I followed the VM billing department's advice and attempted to set up an on-line account. After filling in the usual guff I was presented with the scree you see above. The key information here is "Your request is being processed and you will receive an e-mail within 48 hours with your password and login instructions". Really?

Now, "within 48 hours" could mean that I will receive it in the next 30 seconds (that being the average time in my experience it takes the majority of sites to set up an account and send you e-mail confirmation). However I suspect that if this were indeed true, the registration text I received would have gloated in the message "Your request is being processed and you will receive an e-mail within 30 seconds with your password and login instructions - so keep your eyes peeled bucko".

No, I really do believe that it will take them most of their alloted 48 hours to process my request. Given that even my 25 year old Sinclair ZX80 could probably process the account set up in a few minutes (and even run an nuclear power station!) this seems to imply that there will be *gasp* manual processing involved. Plenty of opportunities for them to screw up multiple elements of my personal data. Looking forward to that I can tell you....