Amazon Flexible Payment Service Launches

Hot on the heels of the Amazon Fresh beta launch, the Amazon Flexible Payment Service has just launched. It provides easy access to the millions of existing Amazon customers who have their payment preferences registered with Amazon. Amazon has established a very high level of trust regarding payment services (much better than, say, Paypal where if you have a problem you are SOL. Problems with Amazon payments are dealt with by Amazon customer service who's service quality is legendary). The service has a number of interesting capabilities including:

• Developers can create payment instructions that are as simple or complex as they desire. For example, creating a relatively complex business model around micro-payments is easy to do with Amazon FPS. The aggregation feature lets you track and aggregate micro-payments into a single payment transaction, saving on transaction processing costs and avoiding having to build complex ledger functionality into your own applications. Without this capability micro-payments would be difficult or cost-prohibitive.

• Amazon FPS exposes a different fee structure for each of the underlying payment methods enabled: credit cards, bank account debits, and Amazon Payments balance transfers. Amazon's cost to process a payment through a bank account debit is less than Amazon's cost via credit card. Amazon's cost for processing an Amazon Payments balance transfer is less still. By exposing different fees for each of these three methods, Amazon can pass on savings from bank account debits and balance transfers, allowing developers to save money. In each case, Amazon takes on the complexity of managing security and fraud protection.

• Amazon customers can pay using the same login credentials and payment information they already have on file. This helps Amazon customers keep their payment information secure and removes the friction 3rd party developers would face if they needed to get customers to enter their payment information before they could make a purchase.

The folks at FreshBooks have been testing out Amazon FPS. Their story and feedback makes interesting reading.

Redbox = BlueScreen (of Death that is)

Spotted in the wilds of Utah at some generic fast-food joint, this redbox automated DVD rental / vending machine. The Bluescreen of death had been showing for as long as anyone working at the store could remember (however given the general knuckle-dragging appearance of said-staff that may not have been very long). No matter, as Amazon Unbox continues to grow the act of physically renting a DVD will soon go the way of the dinosaur. Redbox = dead company walking.

Business Week: Amazon #1

Not much more to say really. Suck it Microsoft and Google (9 and 19 respectively).
Full details at Business Week.

Backyard Things That Are Fun To Build

Just submitted review for "Backyard things that are fun to build" by Ray Wallace:

With nothing much to do last weekend I picked up a copy of this book with great expectations. I must admit that gathering some of the supplies that were defined in the book was a little troublesome (hint: large quantities of wristwatches with luminous hands come in very handy), however with such problems overcome I was able to construct a rough, although fully functional, nuclear reactor, boil up some water and have a spiffing cup of tea! Wonderful! I never would have thought that such things were possible. May I recommend the chapters on whale hunting for fun and profit, 101-ways to wok a dog, and the ever favorite do-it-yourself embalming.

Quote of the Week

Seth Jayson of the Motley Fool writing today about Patrick Byrne, CEO of overstock.com:

"This week's news is just another confirmation that his directors are beginning to believe, as I have long suggested, that Byrne is nuttier than my Aunt Betty's fudge-ums."

Byrne is well know for his conspiracy theories including naked-shorts trying to destroy his company and widespread payoffs to financial journalists to criticize his company. My Byrne needs to come to terms with the reality that he's running a crappy business and needs to focus on fundamentals rather than finger pointing. Indeed, nuttier than a pile of squirrel poop.

What Has Brown Screwed Up For You Today?

I believe I am the first to announce that UPS has begun the beta testing of their matter-transportation system. As you can see from the screen shot, above, a package en route to me arrived at the Menlo Park depot at 3:30am on 5/17/2007. Just nine minutes later it was scanned at the UPS facility in Sacramento over 115 miles away. Amazing!

1985...

The three fine gentlemen you see in this picture are, from left to right, Steve Tom, me, Charly Anderson. The picture was taken in 1985 at CCI's offices in Irvine (right by El Toro airforce base). We were working on-site developing a complier-backend for the CCI Power 6 comptuer. The Power 6 had a custom processor and used the VAX instruction set. Initially it ran a custom port of BSD. Later 4.3BSD was ported to it. Steve and I lived in Irvine (actually in Mission Viejo) for several months during the summer of 1985. When the project was completed we returned to Palo Alto in the San Fransisco Bay Area. (Charly now works for Actix.)

Spook Country

I'm expecting my review copy of the upcoming William Gibson book "Spook Country" to arrive in the next few days. It's due for publication in August 2007. I, of course, can't wait until then. As soon as I have it and have ripped my way through it I'll post my review. What I know thus far:

Tito is in his early twenties. Born in Cuba, he speaks fluent Russian, lives in one room in a NoLita warehouse, and does delicate jobs involving information transfer.

Hollis Henry is an investigative journalist, on assignment from a magazine called Node. Node doesn't exist yet, which is fine; she's used to that. But it seems to be actively blocking the kind of buzz that magazines normally cultivate before they start up. Really actively blocking it. It's odd, even a little scary, if Hollis lets herself think about it much. Which she doesn't; she can't afford to.

Milgrim is a junkie. A high-end junkie, hooked on prescription antianxiety drugs. Milgrim figures he wouldn't survive twenty-four hours if Brown, the mystery man who saved him from a misunderstanding with his dealer, ever stopped supplying those little bubble packs. What exactly Brown is up to Milgrim can't say, but it seems to be military in nature. At least, Milgrim's very nuanced Russian would seem to be a big part of it, as would breaking into locked rooms.

Bobby Chombo is a "producer," and an enigma. In his day job, Bobby is a troubleshooter for manufacturers of military navigation equipment. He refuses to sleep in the same place twice. He meets no one. Hollis Henry has been told to find him.

Pre-order yours at Amazon.com.

Evan The Martini Idiot

May I present for your enjoyment and edification, a original masterpiece comprising animation and pen and ink entitled "Evan the Martini Idiot" (If you want to know why it's called that, ask Evan). You can see the completed picture on Flickr.



Want your own Monster by Mail? Visit www.monsterbymail.com. An original hand drawn monster sketch delivered to your doorstep for $20.

Music is "You're Nobody Til Somebody Loves You" by Dean Martin.

LOST: The "Smoke Monster"

For those of you that enjoy the TV show Lost, what follows will make sense. For those of you that do not partake of Lost please move along, nothing to see here.

Being a fan of Michael Crichton the "smoke monster" that has appeared throughout the series is clearly a swarm of NanoBots - I can imagine no other reasonable explanation (Occam's razor applied). As the series has progressed it has been revealed that no matter how fantastic the appearance of plot devices, they have all had reasonable explanations. Supposedly Damon Lindelof, one of the creators/writers has discredited this theory. Time will tell.

Scrappy The Canopy Dog

Announcing the title of my upcoming book: Scrappy The Canopy Dog. No firm publication date yet (as I've not started writing it), however the concept is coming along nicely. The book will chronicle the life and adventures of a scruffy yellow lab living aloft in a rain forest tree canopy. Laugh out loud as Scrappy falls and nearly breaks a leg, howl with laughter as Scrappy eats bananas (skin and all) as his sole source of food, and clap your hands in glee as howler monkey's torment Scrappy every day of his life. And yes, a movie tie-in will be forthcoming.

Amazon.com - Most Expensive Items of 2006

Amazon.com has a page that lists the most expensive items purchased in 2006. You thought Amazon sold books, DVD's and CD - right? Check out the list which includes an $11,000 copy of the Oxford Dictionary of Niational Biography and an $11,500 Hermes purse. Don't forget to add anything you like to your wish list. You never know, you may have a secret admirer just rolling in cash.

All the THX Trailers

8 minutes worth of THX trailers. My favorites, Star Wars Deathstar, the cow in the can and the Simpsons. The best - Shrek. Enjoy!

Strolling down the Avvenu

Received a note last week from Richard French, CEO of Avvenu.com. Richard and I worked together at VA Software a few years back. Avvenu has just released the beta version of the Avvenu Music Player that lets you share up to 250 songs on-line. When you choose playlists from your PC to share, the playlists and songs are automatically copied to Avvenu's secure media center for reliable, streaming playback. Once your songs and playlists are copied to Avvenu's media center, you don't even have to leave your PC powered on.

I love it -- but I think the RIAA will be shutting them down in short order. I get that whole MP3.com deja vu thing......

It's great fun being an illegal alien

The Honorable Paul S. Sarbanes
309 Hart Senate Office Building
Washington, DC 20510

Dear Senator Sarbanes,

As a naturalized US citizen and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you. My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted.

If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year. Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,

Smoke on the Bush

I love it when I learn something new. I especially love the feeling when I receive an explanation for something that I've really never cared about, but where the explanation is so mind bogglingly cool and/or interesting that I just have to tell *everyone* (and due apologies to the folks with whom I work at Amazon.com - I've been telling this story incessantly this week.....)

'Smoke on the Water' - that fine song to which I'm sure we've all often hummed and banged our heads. But what is it really about? Who is 'Funky Claude'? Why was the band in Switzerland? And why did the firing of a flare gun cause so much consternation? I give to you two links:

1. Wikipedia: Smoke on the Water - the history
   
2. LyricsFreak: Smoke on the Water - the lyrics
   

Read the history and then read the lyrics. If you don't smite your own head and say "Gosh - *that's" what it meant", then I'm buying the beer. And for those of you that knew the story years ago and who really did not benefit from this post, I give you a short IM interaction:

IM'er 1: Bush ain't THAT bad...he kinda knows what he's doin
IM'er 2: Please, Monica Lewenski had more President in her than George Bush ever will.

Good day.

Powerful Art

Stumbled on the (a?) website exhibiting work of Susan Stockwell with whom I was at high school in the UK. We graduated in 1980. I'll always remember Susan from her wonderful performance in Billy Liar. The unexpected crashing into a ladder that we incorporated into the play was both inspired and, I'm sure, painful. Looks like Susan has a successful career both behind and ahead of her.

The piece above is 'Organ' [2005], form drawn with coffee and graphite based on a map of Africa, studies of a heart and liver and Rhino skin. I've dropped Susan a note to see where I can buy some of her work. I'm very impressed with her map works, amongst others.

Microsoft Worried OEM 'Craplets' Will Harm Vista

Post on Slashdot today: "Microsoft Worried OEM 'Craplets' Will Harm Vista" An article at the CBC indicates that Microsoft is worried that the assorted crap most OEM companies load onto a new machine may affect users' opinion of Vista. An unnamed executive is concerned that the user will conclude the instability of the non-MS-certified applications is Vista's fault. Is this a serious concern, or is MS trying to bully OEMs into only including Vista-certified apps?"

Well duh. MS has always tried to control as much as it possibly can with respect to OEM distribution's of Windows. Anyway, the real point of this is that I just love the word "Craplet". There is no Wikipedia reference to the word (however the day isn't yet over.....). Jargon watch defines it thus:

crapplet: n.

[portmanteau, crap + applet] A worthless applet, esp. a Java widget attached to a web page that doesn't work or even crashes your browser. Also spelled ‘craplet’.

I loved it so much that I've just registered www.craplets.com and pointed at this blog. Who knows, I may even launch an OEM craplet index website. If you are visiting this blog via www.craplets.com, "hi". Add a comment and tell me what you expected to find at www.craplets.com.

If you get this.....

Why do elephants have Big Ears?
Because Noddy won't pay the ransom.

You'll get this too:

"Here are the football results: Real Madrid one, Surreal Madrid fish"

Random Airport Madness

There’s something about airports that brings out the lunacy in many (all?) of us. Two example from today:

My flight from SJC was delayed by over an hour. No communication from Alaska via the notification phone number or e-mail address I had provided them during the process of purchasing my ticket on-line. To kill a few minutes, and a few brain cells, I wandered into the travel themed bar (Flights and Bytes?) and sat down to await a waitperson. The gal behind the bar stared at me occasionally while she busied herself with the very occasional patron. After about five minutes it became very clear that there was to be no table service. I debated continually staring at the bar tender to see how long it would be before she confirmed said “no table service” status. Hunger and thirst overtook me. I grudgingly levered myself out of my seat and stepped up to the bar. It was like the bar tender was seeing me for the first time. “What can I get you” she said. I paused a fraction of a second debating internally if I should pass comment on the lack of recognition and her inability (lack of desire?) to communicate with anyone past the border of her bar. As I began to respond “Corona and Tuna Sandwich” she wandered off. Clearly a fraction of a second being too long a period beyond which she should waste her valuable time on me. She eventually drifted back and took my order. She seemed confused that I wanted to pay for my food and beverage at that time (rather than wait a second eternity to get the check….). That troubling chasm crossed, she asked me where I would like my food. “At my table” I replied as I gestured to the table where she had watched me sit, un-tended, for five minutes. As I moved back to my table I overheard her placing my order with the fellow who tended the kitchen. Very impressively, he was back not two minutes later with my order – which he then preceded to place on the table next to mine, that table being empty and me seated at the table next to it being the only other patron within spitting distance. Obviously the bar tender had given him a table number and gosh-darn-it he was going to deliver the meal to the table to which he had been directed. No matter that there was no one sitting there – a trifling element of data that was not to sway him one whit.

I retrieved my meal and ate. The sandwich was more suited for scouring a floor clean than for human consumption. However I was hungry.

Later, as I exited the security check point I overheard a conversation between a TSA employee and a family traveling to the Pacific Northwest. As the TSA employee waved around two jars of what appeared to be home-made jam, she explained to mom, dad and assorted children that such items are not permitted on the plan. Mon, dad and assorted children looked pretty put out upon hearing this news. “But that’s grandpa’s jam!” exclaimed mom. The fact that it was a gift from grandpa, or perhaps was intended as a gift for grandpa, made it no less lethal in the eyes of the TSA. Interestingly mom, dad and assorted children had walked past three signs explaining the dangers of moist items, had responded in the negative to two TSA agents when asked if they had liquids with them, and had failed to hear a repeatedly broadcast announcements about the terrors that could be unleashed in the skies if they took liquids, jells or similar with them aboard a plane. Clearly they have no TV at home nor do they read newspapers or listen to the radio. They were completely unaware that grandpa’s slightly watery-looking jam could be such a potentially dangerous munition. Perhaps the worst it could do in their eyes was to give grandpa a touch of gas. In the eyes of the TSA it was potentially a potent acid or explosive accelerant. Offers from the assorted children to sample the jam (with or without toast) were derided by the TSA as the cunning ruses of skillful terrorists (or so it looked like they were thinking of saying). As I wandered away they were all arguing if grandpa’s jam could be safely dropped into a white plastic bag, wrapped with a coat and checked as luggage. I suspected not – but would have loved to have been at the arriving end to see what sort of mess came out onto the luggage carrousel (unless TSA or baggage staff had not swiped it for a touch of cream tea and scones in the afternoon….).

To cap off my day, there were no ground crew waiting for the arrival of my flight. We sat for about five minutes just yards away from the gate while staff scurried around looking for their high-tech orange glowing sticks with which to wave us forward the last few feet of our trip. Perhaps the arrival of a Boeing 737 was a big frackin' surprise to them. Little too large to miss I would venture to guess, but what do I know about the wonders of airport management? Perhaps they were busy enjoying scones and grandpa’s jam with TSA staff?

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