As Beautiful as an Airport

Regarding the debacle that is Heathrow Terminal 5:

1. Is anyone surprised that was a monumental screw up? Just take a look at the rest of Heathrow. They've had *years* to get it right with only backwards progress (and yes - I had the displeasure of flying through Heathrow last Monday so I have recent, first-hand experience). Take a leaf from the pages of many other industries (especially the software industry ;-) It *never* works first time; that's why a "soft opening" is so important. Run a smaller set of traffic through the system first to work out the kinks. Then ramp it up over time. Big bang launches are aptly named...

2. Let us bow our heads and remember the words of Douglas Adams (and I paraphrase as it's been years since I read the quote): "no society in the universe has ever come up with a phase that is equivalent to 'as beautiful as an airport'..."

3. Bring back Dennis Howell. Minister of Sport and then Minister of drought. Where are you Dennis when we need you so much...?

It's so easy to hate Comcast

I've had cable network access through Comcast in Seattle for the past 18 months with nary a problem. Two weeks ago I lost all network access. After a fruitless half an hour on the phone with Comcast support it was determined that I had a faulty cable modem (which turned out to be complete bullshit - and I suspect the engineer knew it) and I should swap it out. Ok. Did that. Having plugged in the replacement modem, lo and behold, no browser access. I could ping sites with no problem and I appeared to have reasonable DNS setting etc. Very strange. I placed a call to Comcast (with the usual we'll call you back in 30 mins response) and left my PC directly connected to the Cable modem. Wandering past the machine a few minutes later all of my Firefox tabs I was using to connect to Yahoo, Google, Amazon etc were all now sporting a comcast.net account registration page. Odd - since I've been registered with Comcast for 18 months.... Anyway, humoring the system I went through the badly-designed and excruciatingly slow registration process. Ah ha! now I have browser access. Problem solved. The phone rang with my Comcast call back. No help needed here thanks! Done.

I plugged the cable modem back into my router (remember, the one that had been working fine for 18 months), connected to the router (Linksys) and went to look at the IP, DNS etc setting served by Comcast. Nothing. Zip. Zilch. WTF? Went back to the PC I registered with - all OK. Tried a different PC directly connected to the cable modem. Nothing working there.

Ah.... it all finally makes sense. Comcast don't like you running your own router (they'll sell you their router and access for up to 5 PC's - but you're not allowed to do that yourself). I must have been running under the radar for the past 18 months, someone must have looked at my traffic patterns and reset my account so that when I re-enabled I'd trigger their new security measures that locks your account to a single PC (via the MAC). Yeah - well screw you Comcast. Two minutes worth of MAC address cloning and I was back up and running on my own router. It's rather like the water company saying you can have a water feed - but you can only dispense from one faucet.... Now I know why Comcast stock is trading at the same point they were trading in July 1999. Actually the main reason that I'm pissed with Comcast is that even after asking both support engineers with whom I spoke (and to whom I described my home set up) neither of them flagged the fact that my connection would be locked to the activating-PC and that I could no longer use my own router (ha! that's what they think). Either they didn't know (would figure - given how crappy Comcast is at support - seen their on-line FAQ's recently?) or they knew and were told to keep quiet about it. Dimwits.

Oh, any for any Comcast folks reading this, go fix your packet shaping software that keeps screwing up and turning into traffic "denying" software. Thanks.

Green's - don't dis the Internet

In “Seeing Green” (Wired, March 2008) Fred Krupp says “…clean tech is a much more important revolution. We’re talking about the future of humanity, not how to find a date on the Internet”. He fails to acknowledge that the Green movement has been empowered by that same Internet. Significant funding for Green awareness projects has come from revenues generated by the Internet and that same Internet is a significant source of information about global warming. Indeed Mr. Krupp’s book Earth: The Sequel, is available from Amazon.com via the Internet (unfortunately only as a hard copy book and not as a downloadable Kindle e-book as the publisher has yet to make it available in that format. Shame on them).

Glides like a 2 bedroom apartment

Received e-mail from Expedia yesterday confirming my flights to/from Iasi in Romania next month. The flight from Iasi to Bucharest on 3/21 looks to be very interesting. I will, in fact, be flying not on a modern jet aircraft, rather in a 2 bedroom apartment for 5. No indication if refreshments will be served during the journey. I presume I can just go into the kitchen and whip myself up a snack...

Videora - Tivo Converter

Useful little app: Videora enables you to convert your regular PC video files (avi, mpeg, etc) into the proper video format that your TiVo understands. Once it's complete it will place the completed files in the directory that is synced with your Tivo. You can then locate and transfer the converted files from your Tivo "now playing" screen. One of the additional benefits of Videora is that you don't have to shell out $25 to Tivo for Desktop Plus. Videora conversion isn't quick (depends on the size of the file you're converting. A feature length movie can take an hour and a half to convert) - but that's OK. I just set it running before I go to bed or leave for the office and the shows/movies are waiting for me when I next turn on the TV.

There's a great set of instructions regarding Videora for Tivo on Lifehacker.

SCO: The man behind the woman behind the man

"The SCO Group Announces Reorganization Plan to Include $100 Million Financing by Stephen Norris Capital Partners" [Groklaw]

One of the members of Stephen Norris Capital Partners' Investment Committee is Pamela J. Newman.

Amongst other things, Pamela serves on the board of "Chipwich Chippoppitty".

WTF?

Chipwich Chippoppitty Incorporated
105 Shad Row, Piermont, NY
(845) 359-1440

You can learn more about Chipwich by consulting "Mr. Chipwich" who has "some exciting news for you". Apparently he's invented a new form of fuel....

So let me get this straight. A member of the investment committee of the company that is pouring $100 million into a company that has just had the shit beaten out of it in court and has been sent running home to find that someone has stomped on their toys, is qualified to do so based on their stunning investment acumen evidenced by their relationship with someone named "Mr. Chipwich"?

Dogs and cats living together - mass hysteria...

The Kaossilator!

Talk about love at first site! The Kaossilator is something that William Gibson could easily weave into a story. It's a pocket sized synthesizer that employs a touch pad to manipulate pitch and sound. It has a bazillion (well, lots) of built in sound effects including a full drum kit. Even a musical duffer such as I can be turning out halfway reasonable loops within seconds (check out the video to see of what this thing is capable). ThinkGeek sometimes has these in stock for the I'd-buy-two-at-twice-the-price pittance of $199.

The Definition of the word "rebate"

Rebate: A deduction from an amount to be paid or a return of part of an amount given in payment.

Everyone got that? Clearly our friends at USA Today (yes - the one with all the pictures) don't know what rebate means. USA Today is running an article about the upcoming drive-our-country-greater-into-debt so-called economic stimulus package. Hilarity ensues in the Q&A section:

Q: What about people who don't owe any income tax?

A: Even if you didn't owe any income tax, you're still eligible for a rebate of $300

How is a "rebate" possible if you haven't paid anything in the first place? This is not a rebate it's a "hand out" or "stupid ass giveaway". Robert A. Heinlein pretty well summed it up in his book “Time Enough For Love” when he wrote - “When the people learn that they can vote themselves Cake and Champagne and force you to pay for it; they will.”

Pass the fork.

My Only Connection....

...to either team playing in the Superbowl today is via Rich Segina with whom I worked at VA Software. I happened over this today: Just Another Night's Work for Giants from 1991.

So, Go Giants!

Make Your Mind Up!

Dear Yahoo. I can understand that the unsolicited offer from Microsoft to buy you may have you in somewhat of a tizzy, but come on! Is this evening's showing of 'War of the Worlds' its TV premiere or a repeat? You sound like the weatherman hedging his bets with lines like "cloudy today, with sunny spells, chance of rain. changeable" -- covers pretty much all the bases.

Pepsi Stuff

Joint Amazon-Pepsi promotion has kicked off. Pepsi has been doing this for quite some time. With some surprising outcomes:

1999; A federal judge in New York City has dismissed a breach of contract and fraudulent advertising lawsuit against Pepsico Inc. brought by a plaintiff who took its television commercial literally and presented the company with the necessary cash and merchandise points to obtain a Harrier Jet fighter plane... Pepsico, the manufacturer of Pepsi Cola and other soft drink products, ran a television commercial in 1995 and 1996 promoting its Pepsi Points program in which Pepsi drinkers could accumulate points and exchange them for "Pepsi Stuff," gifts from a gift catalogue published by the company.

The commercial showed a male teenager leaving for school attired in various Pepsi Stuff clothing items while subtitles indicated how many points are required to obtain each item. One such banner read, "LEATHER JACKET 1,450 PEPSI POINTS." In the next scene, the same teenager is shown arriving at school in a Harrier Jet. The subtitle then reads, "HARRIER JET FIGHTER 7,000,000 PEPSI POINTS."

The Pepsi Points catalogue did not include the Harrier Jet, but it stated that if a consumer lacks sufficient points to redeem an item, he or she could purchase the required points from Pepsico at 10 cents each.

Inspired by the ad, Seattle resident John R. Leonard set out to accumulate the cash and points needed to claim the jet, which is valued at $23 million. He raised $700,000 from friends -- seven million points at ten cents each -- and sent a check and 15 Pepsi Points along with an order form from the catalogue to Pepsico."

I wonder if John Leonard is an Amazon customer and is planning something similar with Justin Timberlake?

Stating the Obvious

From the Seattle Times today: "Bombers described as mentally disabled" - story about two women suicide bombers in Iraq. I'd argue that *all* bombers are mentally disabled. What sane person is going strap explosives to themselves and set them off? I paid $0.50 for this earth shattering piece of insight. I want my money back!

Tags

"Tags are the distilled essence of smart ass commentary."

-- They well maybe, but I kicked you ass at Monopoly last weekend, so there!

I thought it said "Coins"

I thought it said "Coins". Now I'm not so sure. All I see now is "Colms". I believe that colms are the small bands of metal that anchor erasers to pencils - now why is there a store dedicate to selling colms in downtown Seattle?

Reunion

Just received an invitation to my 30th High School reunion. Well, "30th aniversary of 5th year graduation" reunion; I certainly haven't been to any High School reunions, which would make this the 1st. Yes, that sounds much better, this will be my 1st High School reunion.

All I can imagine is the reunion scene from Grosse Pointe Blank. I do hope no one gets killed.

Rapture

Come the rapture I want to be pretty sure that either the pilot or co-pilot of the plane on which I'm sure to be flying at the time is an atheist...

Brandweek

Never been quoted in Brandweek before. I was this week. Wonder if I can get quoted by a publication to which I already subscribe?

The Police

I saw the Police a few months ago in Seattle.
The last time I saw them was August 6 1979 at the Free Trade Hall in Manchester.
The backing band was The Cramps. Go figure.

Mmmmmm Chumby!

Chumby is a completely open system – hardware and software. The primary use for a Chumby device is to play a set of user-customizable widgets, small Adobe Flash animations that deliver real-time information. The animations also have the ability to control and interact with the low-level hardware, thereby enabling functionality such as smart alarm clocks that bring the hardware out of sleep, and physical user interface features such gesture recognition through squeezing the soft housing.

The hardware is based on a 350MHz ARM9 controller, has 64MB of SDRAM, 64MB of NAND flash ROM, a 320×240 3.5 inch touchscreen TFT LCD running at 12Hz, stereo 2W speakers, an audio output, an integrated microphone, two USB 2.0 ports, and integrated WiFi. Stock sensors on Chumby include a bend sensor for squeeze-based user interface features and a sudden motion sensor (accelerometer).

Chumby can run an SSD (As you can see from the screen snapshot above, I can easily connect from Windows via PuTTY to my Chumby). It also launches a small HTTP at boot time. I can easily add CGI scripts.

Chumby owners can selected from a large pallet of widgets via the Chumby.com home page. The widgets are scheduled and downloaded (over 802.11) to Chumby.

Thus far I’m very impressed; however I’ve only scratched the surface.

Can Can

Went to the show at the Can Can club tonight in Seattle. Great show. All the way through I kept thinking that the music employed during the show was very Stockhausian. "Stockhausen, Stockhausen, Stockhausen" my mind kept repeating throughout the show. I've not thought about him or his music for many years.

I get home, log on and find that he died today. Strange. And sad.

Amazon Kindle Debuts on Monday 19th Nov

Newsweek cover story this week about Kindle the new e-book reader from Amazon that is being launched at an event at the W Times Square in NY on Monday 19th Nov. Just in time for the holidays, Kindle is always-on for immediate download of books, newspapers and other sources.

Colin on Theremin

Just another average day at Amazon.com

Microsoft hates vegetarians

Well maybe 'hate' is a little strong, however.....

I received an invitation from Microsoft today to attend an executive briefing in an "intimate location". Salacious I thought. But no, the selected location is Ruth's Chris Steak House. Couple of problems with this: (a) I live in Seattle and the invitation is for the event in San Francisco (note to Microsoft: fix your geo-targeting) (b) I've been vegetarian for about the last seven years and inviting me to a steak house is not going to win Microsoft any points. I responded to the team responsible for managing the event, velocityliveevents@email.microsoft.com, thus:

Thanks for the invite. I respectfully decline. I would
have actually been quite interested in the event, however
your selection of a steak house for the event
is a poor choice for your vegetarian and vegan prospects.
of which Seattle and the Pacific Northwest has quite a few.
Including me.

10/20 Update: no response from Microsoft to my e-mail.
Perhaps when they told me in the invitation that I was specially
selected for their unique event they were only kidding....

Stanford Student? Come meet me on 9 October

The Stanford Computer Forum has invited me to an information session on campus. I'm presenting in Packard 101 on Tuesday 9 October 5:30 - 6:30pm. Free food, raffle and t-shirts! All that and me too!

Fun on the Field

Well the Seahawks won after some initial challenges with their defense. Being down on the field was amazing - really gives you an impression of what it's like to play in front of 68,000 screaming fans. One word: loud.

Seahawks Opening Game

Seahawks vs Buccaneers on Sunday, good. Sky box ticket, better. Pre-game field access, awesome! Watch out for me close to the end zone on the southwest side of Quest field on Sunday.

Maps for the Children

In response to the recent call to action by Miss Teen South Carolina, Maps For Us started a blog of important maps: Mapsforus.org

Please contribute. It's for the children. Please.

Steampunk Tree House

...imagine another sort of tree. Maybe there aren’t natural trees anymore. Maybe there are a few left in special National Maximum Security Parks. Maybe the memory of a tree is so far gone from living memories that people try to recreate what they imagine they’ve lost using another sort of romantic imaginary, one of machinery, scavenged gears, gathered belts, hunted steam pipes, gleaned gauges, rusty metal and gobs and gobs of steam. In short, though our natural world may change, the human drive to connect with it and one another remains, it is second nature. Enter the Steampunk Tree House!

Romania this week...

First full day in Romania today. I'm always wary of hotels that are named after organic compounds. My current abode, Hotel UniREA is no exception. About on par with a Cozy-8 it does have the benefit of being close to the office. The A/C emits pitiful breaths of tepid air rather like an asthmatic water buffalo about to expire. Watching Seinfeld dubbed into Romanian is the most entertainment I expect to get tonight. Still, at least I'm not back in the USSR. Pictures when I download them from my camera. Sleep time...

Dumb-as-a-Stump Award of the Week

Easily winning the Dumb-as-a-Stump award this week, and of little surprise to anyone, Network Solutions handily demonstrate why they are universally disliked. Not only are their registration fees the highest in the industry, their customer service is diabolically bad. Take for instance the e-mail I received from them today, August 14, 2007: "Act Now. Don't let your service expire" it blared. Gosh - I'd better renew in case I forget, I mused. Then I noticed the expiration date **June 26 2008**. Wow - nothing like getting advanced renewal notices. Doofi.

Slusho, water, zoom, happy, power, fish, donkey, frog

Slusho, water, zoom, happy, power, fish, donkey, frog

What would Jesus do?

From a Slashdot post today: "American Red Cross Sued for using a Red Cross". Quite a mundane story: "licensing rights.....blah blah.....exclusivity.....blah blah...". However there was at least one highly entertaining comment. Click on the image above to see.

Amazon Fresh

I must report being very satisfied with the selection from Amazon Fresh and the quality and timeliness of their deliveries. I was a big fan of Webvan in the day (and by fan I mean I enjoyed their selection and efficiency of delivery. I was not a fan of their business model - but I did reap benefit from it (I have two Webvan totes sitting in my garage - collector's items??)).

I'm picking up from Amazon PacMed (looking forward to when the new pick up building is opened so I don't need to trudge down to the sports court). Other delivery options are available. A great innovation is the Pre-Dawn Delivery for when you absolutely must have fresh pop tarts delivered overnight. I'm outside the current delivery zone, but when it expands to cover my apartment it'll be kippers and Cap'n Crunch for breakfast everyday!

William Gibson Visits Amazon.com

A good day today. Upon logging into my e-mail account this morning I discovered that William Gibson (for one of his characters this blog is named) was to be speaking at the Amazon.com Fishbowl at lunch time. I promptly cleared my calendar and mentally began to prepare my questions. Mr. Gibson read chapter 2 of Spook Country after telling us that this was originally written as Chapter 1. After the reading he answered questions. I asked him if he consciously was moving his stories back in time (Spook Country is set in 2006). He explained that he writes by pulling the strangeness he finds in everyday life into his stories and no, this was not a conscious decision. He was asked about product placement in his stories (ref. the "Sony TV" in Chapter 2 of Spook Country). Mr. Gibson explained that he intended to "[allow people of the future] to access the texture of our daily lives". That "it's not product placement ... it's memetic coloration". He signed a copy of Spook Country. I shook his hand. Today was a good day.

Amazon Flexible Payment Service Launches

Hot on the heels of the Amazon Fresh beta launch, the Amazon Flexible Payment Service has just launched. It provides easy access to the millions of existing Amazon customers who have their payment preferences registered with Amazon. Amazon has established a very high level of trust regarding payment services (much better than, say, Paypal where if you have a problem you are SOL. Problems with Amazon payments are dealt with by Amazon customer service who's service quality is legendary). The service has a number of interesting capabilities including:

• Developers can create payment instructions that are as simple or complex as they desire. For example, creating a relatively complex business model around micro-payments is easy to do with Amazon FPS. The aggregation feature lets you track and aggregate micro-payments into a single payment transaction, saving on transaction processing costs and avoiding having to build complex ledger functionality into your own applications. Without this capability micro-payments would be difficult or cost-prohibitive.

• Amazon FPS exposes a different fee structure for each of the underlying payment methods enabled: credit cards, bank account debits, and Amazon Payments balance transfers. Amazon's cost to process a payment through a bank account debit is less than Amazon's cost via credit card. Amazon's cost for processing an Amazon Payments balance transfer is less still. By exposing different fees for each of these three methods, Amazon can pass on savings from bank account debits and balance transfers, allowing developers to save money. In each case, Amazon takes on the complexity of managing security and fraud protection.

• Amazon customers can pay using the same login credentials and payment information they already have on file. This helps Amazon customers keep their payment information secure and removes the friction 3rd party developers would face if they needed to get customers to enter their payment information before they could make a purchase.

The folks at FreshBooks have been testing out Amazon FPS. Their story and feedback makes interesting reading.

Redbox = BlueScreen (of Death that is)

Spotted in the wilds of Utah at some generic fast-food joint, this redbox automated DVD rental / vending machine. The Bluescreen of death had been showing for as long as anyone working at the store could remember (however given the general knuckle-dragging appearance of said-staff that may not have been very long). No matter, as Amazon Unbox continues to grow the act of physically renting a DVD will soon go the way of the dinosaur. Redbox = dead company walking.

Business Week: Amazon #1

Not much more to say really. Suck it Microsoft and Google (9 and 19 respectively).
Full details at Business Week.

Backyard Things That Are Fun To Build

Just submitted review for "Backyard things that are fun to build" by Ray Wallace:

With nothing much to do last weekend I picked up a copy of this book with great expectations. I must admit that gathering some of the supplies that were defined in the book was a little troublesome (hint: large quantities of wristwatches with luminous hands come in very handy), however with such problems overcome I was able to construct a rough, although fully functional, nuclear reactor, boil up some water and have a spiffing cup of tea! Wonderful! I never would have thought that such things were possible. May I recommend the chapters on whale hunting for fun and profit, 101-ways to wok a dog, and the ever favorite do-it-yourself embalming.

Quote of the Week

Seth Jayson of the Motley Fool writing today about Patrick Byrne, CEO of overstock.com:

"This week's news is just another confirmation that his directors are beginning to believe, as I have long suggested, that Byrne is nuttier than my Aunt Betty's fudge-ums."

Byrne is well know for his conspiracy theories including naked-shorts trying to destroy his company and widespread payoffs to financial journalists to criticize his company. My Byrne needs to come to terms with the reality that he's running a crappy business and needs to focus on fundamentals rather than finger pointing. Indeed, nuttier than a pile of squirrel poop.

What Has Brown Screwed Up For You Today?

I believe I am the first to announce that UPS has begun the beta testing of their matter-transportation system. As you can see from the screen shot, above, a package en route to me arrived at the Menlo Park depot at 3:30am on 5/17/2007. Just nine minutes later it was scanned at the UPS facility in Sacramento over 115 miles away. Amazing!

1985...

The three fine gentlemen you see in this picture are, from left to right, Steve Tom, me, Charly Anderson. The picture was taken in 1985 at CCI's offices in Irvine (right by El Toro airforce base). We were working on-site developing a complier-backend for the CCI Power 6 comptuer. The Power 6 had a custom processor and used the VAX instruction set. Initially it ran a custom port of BSD. Later 4.3BSD was ported to it. Steve and I lived in Irvine (actually in Mission Viejo) for several months during the summer of 1985. When the project was completed we returned to Palo Alto in the San Fransisco Bay Area. (Charly now works for Actix.)

Spook Country

I'm expecting my review copy of the upcoming William Gibson book "Spook Country" to arrive in the next few days. It's due for publication in August 2007. I, of course, can't wait until then. As soon as I have it and have ripped my way through it I'll post my review. What I know thus far:

Tito is in his early twenties. Born in Cuba, he speaks fluent Russian, lives in one room in a NoLita warehouse, and does delicate jobs involving information transfer.

Hollis Henry is an investigative journalist, on assignment from a magazine called Node. Node doesn't exist yet, which is fine; she's used to that. But it seems to be actively blocking the kind of buzz that magazines normally cultivate before they start up. Really actively blocking it. It's odd, even a little scary, if Hollis lets herself think about it much. Which she doesn't; she can't afford to.

Milgrim is a junkie. A high-end junkie, hooked on prescription antianxiety drugs. Milgrim figures he wouldn't survive twenty-four hours if Brown, the mystery man who saved him from a misunderstanding with his dealer, ever stopped supplying those little bubble packs. What exactly Brown is up to Milgrim can't say, but it seems to be military in nature. At least, Milgrim's very nuanced Russian would seem to be a big part of it, as would breaking into locked rooms.

Bobby Chombo is a "producer," and an enigma. In his day job, Bobby is a troubleshooter for manufacturers of military navigation equipment. He refuses to sleep in the same place twice. He meets no one. Hollis Henry has been told to find him.

Pre-order yours at Amazon.com.

Evan The Martini Idiot

May I present for your enjoyment and edification, a original masterpiece comprising animation and pen and ink entitled "Evan the Martini Idiot" (If you want to know why it's called that, ask Evan). You can see the completed picture on Flickr.



Want your own Monster by Mail? Visit www.monsterbymail.com. An original hand drawn monster sketch delivered to your doorstep for $20.

Music is "You're Nobody Til Somebody Loves You" by Dean Martin.

LOST: The "Smoke Monster"

For those of you that enjoy the TV show Lost, what follows will make sense. For those of you that do not partake of Lost please move along, nothing to see here.

Being a fan of Michael Crichton the "smoke monster" that has appeared throughout the series is clearly a swarm of NanoBots - I can imagine no other reasonable explanation (Occam's razor applied). As the series has progressed it has been revealed that no matter how fantastic the appearance of plot devices, they have all had reasonable explanations. Supposedly Damon Lindelof, one of the creators/writers has discredited this theory. Time will tell.

Scrappy The Canopy Dog

Announcing the title of my upcoming book: Scrappy The Canopy Dog. No firm publication date yet (as I've not started writing it), however the concept is coming along nicely. The book will chronicle the life and adventures of a scruffy yellow lab living aloft in a rain forest tree canopy. Laugh out loud as Scrappy falls and nearly breaks a leg, howl with laughter as Scrappy eats bananas (skin and all) as his sole source of food, and clap your hands in glee as howler monkey's torment Scrappy every day of his life. And yes, a movie tie-in will be forthcoming.

Amazon.com - Most Expensive Items of 2006

Amazon.com has a page that lists the most expensive items purchased in 2006. You thought Amazon sold books, DVD's and CD - right? Check out the list which includes an $11,000 copy of the Oxford Dictionary of Niational Biography and an $11,500 Hermes purse. Don't forget to add anything you like to your wish list. You never know, you may have a secret admirer just rolling in cash.

All the THX Trailers

8 minutes worth of THX trailers. My favorites, Star Wars Deathstar, the cow in the can and the Simpsons. The best - Shrek. Enjoy!

Strolling down the Avvenu

Received a note last week from Richard French, CEO of Avvenu.com. Richard and I worked together at VA Software a few years back. Avvenu has just released the beta version of the Avvenu Music Player that lets you share up to 250 songs on-line. When you choose playlists from your PC to share, the playlists and songs are automatically copied to Avvenu's secure media center for reliable, streaming playback. Once your songs and playlists are copied to Avvenu's media center, you don't even have to leave your PC powered on.

I love it -- but I think the RIAA will be shutting them down in short order. I get that whole MP3.com deja vu thing......

It's great fun being an illegal alien

The Honorable Paul S. Sarbanes
309 Hart Senate Office Building
Washington, DC 20510

Dear Senator Sarbanes,

As a naturalized US citizen and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you. My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted.

If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year. Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,

Smoke on the Bush

I love it when I learn something new. I especially love the feeling when I receive an explanation for something that I've really never cared about, but where the explanation is so mind bogglingly cool and/or interesting that I just have to tell *everyone* (and due apologies to the folks with whom I work at Amazon.com - I've been telling this story incessantly this week.....)

'Smoke on the Water' - that fine song to which I'm sure we've all often hummed and banged our heads. But what is it really about? Who is 'Funky Claude'? Why was the band in Switzerland? And why did the firing of a flare gun cause so much consternation? I give to you two links:

1. Wikipedia: Smoke on the Water - the history
   
2. LyricsFreak: Smoke on the Water - the lyrics
   

Read the history and then read the lyrics. If you don't smite your own head and say "Gosh - *that's" what it meant", then I'm buying the beer. And for those of you that knew the story years ago and who really did not benefit from this post, I give you a short IM interaction:

IM'er 1: Bush ain't THAT bad...he kinda knows what he's doin
IM'er 2: Please, Monica Lewenski had more President in her than George Bush ever will.

Good day.

Powerful Art

Stumbled on the (a?) website exhibiting work of Susan Stockwell with whom I was at high school in the UK. We graduated in 1980. I'll always remember Susan from her wonderful performance in Billy Liar. The unexpected crashing into a ladder that we incorporated into the play was both inspired and, I'm sure, painful. Looks like Susan has a successful career both behind and ahead of her.

The piece above is 'Organ' [2005], form drawn with coffee and graphite based on a map of Africa, studies of a heart and liver and Rhino skin. I've dropped Susan a note to see where I can buy some of her work. I'm very impressed with her map works, amongst others.

Microsoft Worried OEM 'Craplets' Will Harm Vista

Post on Slashdot today: "Microsoft Worried OEM 'Craplets' Will Harm Vista" An article at the CBC indicates that Microsoft is worried that the assorted crap most OEM companies load onto a new machine may affect users' opinion of Vista. An unnamed executive is concerned that the user will conclude the instability of the non-MS-certified applications is Vista's fault. Is this a serious concern, or is MS trying to bully OEMs into only including Vista-certified apps?"

Well duh. MS has always tried to control as much as it possibly can with respect to OEM distribution's of Windows. Anyway, the real point of this is that I just love the word "Craplet". There is no Wikipedia reference to the word (however the day isn't yet over.....). Jargon watch defines it thus:

crapplet: n.

[portmanteau, crap + applet] A worthless applet, esp. a Java widget attached to a web page that doesn't work or even crashes your browser. Also spelled ‘craplet’.

I loved it so much that I've just registered www.craplets.com and pointed at this blog. Who knows, I may even launch an OEM craplet index website. If you are visiting this blog via www.craplets.com, "hi". Add a comment and tell me what you expected to find at www.craplets.com.

If you get this.....

Why do elephants have Big Ears?
Because Noddy won't pay the ransom.

You'll get this too:

"Here are the football results: Real Madrid one, Surreal Madrid fish"

Random Airport Madness

There’s something about airports that brings out the lunacy in many (all?) of us. Two example from today:

My flight from SJC was delayed by over an hour. No communication from Alaska via the notification phone number or e-mail address I had provided them during the process of purchasing my ticket on-line. To kill a few minutes, and a few brain cells, I wandered into the travel themed bar (Flights and Bytes?) and sat down to await a waitperson. The gal behind the bar stared at me occasionally while she busied herself with the very occasional patron. After about five minutes it became very clear that there was to be no table service. I debated continually staring at the bar tender to see how long it would be before she confirmed said “no table service” status. Hunger and thirst overtook me. I grudgingly levered myself out of my seat and stepped up to the bar. It was like the bar tender was seeing me for the first time. “What can I get you” she said. I paused a fraction of a second debating internally if I should pass comment on the lack of recognition and her inability (lack of desire?) to communicate with anyone past the border of her bar. As I began to respond “Corona and Tuna Sandwich” she wandered off. Clearly a fraction of a second being too long a period beyond which she should waste her valuable time on me. She eventually drifted back and took my order. She seemed confused that I wanted to pay for my food and beverage at that time (rather than wait a second eternity to get the check….). That troubling chasm crossed, she asked me where I would like my food. “At my table” I replied as I gestured to the table where she had watched me sit, un-tended, for five minutes. As I moved back to my table I overheard her placing my order with the fellow who tended the kitchen. Very impressively, he was back not two minutes later with my order – which he then preceded to place on the table next to mine, that table being empty and me seated at the table next to it being the only other patron within spitting distance. Obviously the bar tender had given him a table number and gosh-darn-it he was going to deliver the meal to the table to which he had been directed. No matter that there was no one sitting there – a trifling element of data that was not to sway him one whit.

I retrieved my meal and ate. The sandwich was more suited for scouring a floor clean than for human consumption. However I was hungry.

Later, as I exited the security check point I overheard a conversation between a TSA employee and a family traveling to the Pacific Northwest. As the TSA employee waved around two jars of what appeared to be home-made jam, she explained to mom, dad and assorted children that such items are not permitted on the plan. Mon, dad and assorted children looked pretty put out upon hearing this news. “But that’s grandpa’s jam!” exclaimed mom. The fact that it was a gift from grandpa, or perhaps was intended as a gift for grandpa, made it no less lethal in the eyes of the TSA. Interestingly mom, dad and assorted children had walked past three signs explaining the dangers of moist items, had responded in the negative to two TSA agents when asked if they had liquids with them, and had failed to hear a repeatedly broadcast announcements about the terrors that could be unleashed in the skies if they took liquids, jells or similar with them aboard a plane. Clearly they have no TV at home nor do they read newspapers or listen to the radio. They were completely unaware that grandpa’s slightly watery-looking jam could be such a potentially dangerous munition. Perhaps the worst it could do in their eyes was to give grandpa a touch of gas. In the eyes of the TSA it was potentially a potent acid or explosive accelerant. Offers from the assorted children to sample the jam (with or without toast) were derided by the TSA as the cunning ruses of skillful terrorists (or so it looked like they were thinking of saying). As I wandered away they were all arguing if grandpa’s jam could be safely dropped into a white plastic bag, wrapped with a coat and checked as luggage. I suspected not – but would have loved to have been at the arriving end to see what sort of mess came out onto the luggage carrousel (unless TSA or baggage staff had not swiped it for a touch of cream tea and scones in the afternoon….).

To cap off my day, there were no ground crew waiting for the arrival of my flight. We sat for about five minutes just yards away from the gate while staff scurried around looking for their high-tech orange glowing sticks with which to wave us forward the last few feet of our trip. Perhaps the arrival of a Boeing 737 was a big frackin' surprise to them. Little too large to miss I would venture to guess, but what do I know about the wonders of airport management? Perhaps they were busy enjoying scones and grandpa’s jam with TSA staff?

.

The Last 34 Miles

Much like the telecom industry, many eCommerce travails concern the last mile (or last 34 miles in my case) - the act of getting data (or packages) the last few feet to the residential location.

I ordered an item from Amazon last week, on the 19th December to be precise. It was packaged and handed to UPS within about an hour of my order being placed. I'm a Prime member so shipping is 2 days - in fact Amazon confirmed that delivery would occur on December 21. Click on the graphic above to see a snapshot of the UPS tracking page. Bottom line here is that my package made it from Louisville, KY to Oakland CA by midnight December 20. And there it has sat. I live about 34 miles from Oakland. I could have walked to Oakland and back in the last three days. It's now late night December 24 and UPS still has my package (and still claim on their website that they will deliver it by December 21 (perhaps they have a time machine with which I have not been previously familar)). And I'm not just picking on UPS here - I also have another package, ordered the same day, that is being delivered by DHL (Prime, 2 day delivery for which the only information DHL will disclose is that it was picked up on December 19 and is "in transit" - to where I have no idea. But it sure as heck is not to my house....).

Bring on commercial grade, inexpensive 3d-printers I say. In fact, create 3d-printers and have them as their first job print other 3d printers. I can see it coming. Soon as the markets open after Christmas I'm shorting UPS, DHL, Eagle, FedEx and the rest of the bunch.

www.endless.com

Going live on Monday 11 December, www.endless.com a new website from Amazon.com. Below is the "friends and family" invitation. Please try it out and tell us what you think.



As you may be aware, we've been working hard on a new initiative in our shoes and handbag categories. We'd like to extend to you a personal invitation to to be the first to shop At Amazon.com's new web site, Endless.com.

We've built Endless.com to provide you with an innovative new shopping experience for shoes and handbags. Endless.com allows you to shop your way— using our easy category, brand, size, color, or price selections. Best of all, we will deliver your purchase to you overnight— FREE. (Really!)

We hope you'll take a few minutes to shop around the store, and please let us know what you think by sending an e-mail to Tell us what you like, what you don't like, and what you'd like to see done differently. We appreciate your feedback!

JL421 Badonkadonk

We've all had those days, dreary, overcast with the high likelihood of drizzle. What you really need to banish the blues of the grey is a JL421 badonkadonk ($19,999 MSRP) available from Amazon.com. Load up four of your closest pals, paintball guns and tube socks for all, and hit the playa in armored comfort. Clocking in at a swift (if not bumpy) 40mph, the 'donk' ensures that your and your chums can enter the fray, account well of yourself and still make it home in time for tea and crumpets with nary a stain on your "Live free or die" tie-dye t-shirts. Order now to avoid disappointment.

Iggy and the rider

Finally a concert rider that makes sense and has a sense of humor. And from no other that Iggy and the Stooges. Thought the Fark Miss GA thread was funny? This is as good. Skip through the backline requirements if you like (and if you don't know much about musical instruments and PA systems it won't make much sense. But funny, whoo!) to the dressing room requirements. I especially like the request for a Bob Hope impersonator. And the BMW. Do take the time to read what the road manager thinks about stage lighting and lighting designers. And Broccoli.

Flight Patterns

Here are a set of wonderful visualizations of air traffic as seen by the FAA. This short video time reduces air traffic to virtual con-trails. It's amazing to see a new day announced via the light of the dawn of the volume of air traffic, east to west.

Swamp Donkey?

Yes this is cruel, but good grief, what were the organizers of the Miss Georgia pageant thinking when they posted this bevy of, ahem, beauties? I thank the readers and posters at Fark for providing the only reasonable response possible. I nearly barfed up a lung laughing at the Fark thread. Thanks John!

A short story

"This story concerns the publisher of a stock newsletter who sends out 64,000 letters extolling his state-of-the-art database, his inside contacts, and his sophisticated econometric models. In 32,000 of these letters he predicts a rise in some stock index for the following week, say, and in 32,000 of them he predicts a decline. Whatever happens, he sends a follow-up letter but only to those 32,000 to whom he's made a correct "prediction." To 16,000 of them he predicts a rise for the next week, and to 16,000 a decline. Again, whatever happens, he will have sent 2 consecutive correct predictions to 16,000 people. Iterating this procedure of focusing exclusively on the winnowed list of people who have received only correct predictions, he can create the illusion in them that he knows what he's talking about. After all, the 1,000 or so remaining people who have received 6 straight correct predictions (by coincidence) have a good reason to cough up the $1,000 the newsletter publisher requests: They want to continue to receive these "oracular" pronouncements."

Steampunk Laptop

A most wonderful working Steampunk laptop (additional pictures). How I would love one of these. I do have a number of Corona portable typewriters from the early 20th century that could be pressed into such service. However I'm afraid I don't have the time nor the patience to build one. Default: Curta.

Slingzilla!

The newly deployed 1.84Tb server I've built over the past few weeks has been augmented by:

• •Tivo Series 2 running the Galleon open source app (adds many media-server capabilities to the default Tivo app)
• Slingbox Av. Used to route Server and Tivo contents to wherever I want said contents. Even streaming over a reasonably poorly performing wireless network the audio and video resolution from the Slingbox is amazing. The fact that I can now access all my music, videos and images stored on the server from wherever I can get internet access is most pleasing.

Baby's for Sale on Amazon - 16% off!

I see that Amazon.co.jp has a special offer on babies this week. 16% off - no limit on the number you purchase. And they come in such cute containers. Shop early. Shop often.

Speaking of Laser ...er....Rayguns.....

From the site "Rayguns":

FMOM Industries - Wave Disrupter Gun

Are you genetically pre-disposed to not wanting to blow your face to bits? Then, by crikey, this may not be the device for you - Try a kite!

But, if you're a man, then send large money orders forthwith and procure yourself FMOM's latest and greatest. Built from the exacting plans of the famed Dr. Grordbort, and reinforced with purest Tremontium, this little tiger will turn your foes to a slurry!

Why, just in time for Christmas! Super molecular-disrupting fun for the little one's. Methinks I will take two of these and a nickle-finished Neurodistruptor with extra powerpack and sights.

CakeQuest

Evan's 12th Birthday party is today. No suprise that he's selected LaserQuest for the event (again....). After the major effort last year creating the "LaserQuest Maze Cake" - something a little less ambitious was deemed appropriate for this year. Hence, the LaserGun Cake. Trust me, it looks better in real life. Much more like a gun than a hideous pile of brown frosting...

Damocles Still Hanging Around

Spent the weekend on the construction of a new server. Objective was to build a system with large RAID 1 space for archiving, that would also double as a fast render engine for Truespace. System was speced out to inlcude:

• Thermaktake Tsunami VA3000BWA
• ASUS A8N5X w/ nForce4 Mobo
• AMD Athlon 64 processor 3200
• Thermaltake CL-P0200 Silent 939 K8 CPU Cooler
  
• Radion X1600 Pr PCIe 512M Graphics Card
• Corsair XMS 2GB (2 x 1GB) 184-Pin DDR SDRAM DDR 400 (PC 3200)
  
• SilverStone Strider ST60F 600watt PSU w/ modular cables
  
• Seagate ST3200822A-RK 200 GB ATA Internal Hard Drive (IDE Master)
  
• 2 x Seagate 500 GB Barracuda 7200.9 SATA Internal Hard Drive (500Gb Raid 1)
  
• Pioneer DVD R/W (Reclaimed from another system)

The 200Gb IDE drive is the boot drive. The two 500Gb Barracuda's are built into a single RAID 1 array. I went overkill on the Strider PSU. 600w is way more than I need right now. I do, however, expect to add two more 500Gb SATA drives to take total capacity to 1Tb RAID 1. I will also take the PATA drive space up to 500Gb. The lights on the the Corsair RAM are cool + I really like the ASUS mobo - it's temperature monitoring and fan management is nifty. Oh yeah - I also went overboard on the CPU cooler -- it's just that there is no way I can trust the crap cooler that AMD ships with the processor + I plan to do a little overclocking....

Oh the name of the new system is Damocles - hence the title of this post. Move along now.

29 October 2006 Update: Added 2 x 320Gb SATA drives last week. Configured as RAID 1. System is now 720Gb RAID 1 (give or take a Gb). Total disk space in the cabinet is 1.84Tb. And to think, the first PC I had with a hard disk was an IBM PC XT with a whopping 10Mb drive.

Must be seen to be believed....

An aircraft carrier made out of Lego to minifig scale i.e. rather big.
File under the categories of (1) Wow! and (2) Too much time on one's hands.

Lovelab Farewell

Found in the Seattle Stranger newspaper and online:

Laugh? I nearly bought a round!

From the pages of Amazon.com, this review:

Twenty-Nine! TWENTY-NINE!!!!!, June 11, 2006
A Kid's Review
I told my mother, Mrs. Fran Stalinofskavichdavitovichsky, to go to the store and get me 30 Tagger Micro Darts for my Nerf the Smurf Rocket Launcher. She came home, and I opened the bag, and it only had 29! It was supposed to come with 30! Upon seeing this my mother tried to flee for cover, but I easily caught up with her fat pig legs. I bit her! Bit her deep!

(and yes - the url does reference Obidos - which be gone...., don't worry - redirects save all)

Gin and Vimto

There are some things that pair well: fish n' chips, assault n' battery, stuff like that. But Gin and Vimto fills me me with such wonderus dread that I have to try it. One of my cousins (who will not be identified to protect the guilty....) IM'd me about this amazing concoction. Couple of problems prevent me from trying it: (1) you can't buy Vimto in Seattle and (2) you can't buy Vimto in Seattle. Now, that's strictly only one problem, but it's such a massive one I thought I'd mention it twice.

Mom, Dad - next trip to the US, please bring a large bottle of Vimto (and Iron Bru while you're at it). And a stomach pump. Thanks.

FON up and Running

Router configuration was completed last night. I now have a "Bill" access point serving those around the junction of 4th Ave and University in downtown Seattle. Buy me a beer and I'll give you free access.

Toonfest 2006 Update

News from Disney's Toonfest 2006 held this past Saturday August 26:

• Support for Safari and Firefox browsers is underway ("the new guy from Pixar wants us to support his browser...."). The Disney management team confirmed that other browsers apart from IE will be supported. Work is actively underway;
• Confirmation of "gardening" as the new, large upcoming addition to Toontown. Plant Jellybeans to grow flowers, pick them and sell them in the market. Plant gags to grow gag trees (with a whole range of bigger and better gags). Trees and plants need watering (at the time of the demo the watering can animation was not complete)
• Wedding Cake gag - attacks *all* cogs you are fighting at the same time.
• Daisy Duck will be coming back to Toontown (after all, the Garden is named after her. Goofy was just looking after it while she was away).
• Disney ToonTown runs on "about 40" servers in Seattle. Linux is the OS of choice (couple of distro's)
• Cog HQ is under construction. No details from the Disney team regarding release date.
• Disney is lookig into how to allow users with single accounts to play multiple toons at the same time (their stated largest fear was "additional characters being sold")
• Trolly games in development
• Account packages that will combine accounts for Toontown and the upcoming "Pirates of the Caribbean" online game.
• ToonTown pins were given out at Toonfest: Three Cogs and five characters (the blue monkey being my favorite). I've asked Evan to scan them for me + will post a picture. (Some are already for sale by others at ebay)
• If you collected six out of seven stickers around the evnet you received a set of magnets with each of the ToonTown land names + a special "ToonFest" magnet. I've seen two sets of these for sale on ebay.

"Snacks on a Plane"

My new concept for airports: "Snacks on a Plane", serving tasty morsels to to famished passenger.
Movie tie-in possibilities are almost endless.

Linksys WRT54G Upgrade to DD-WRT

Spent this afternoon upgrading my Linksys WRG54G to DD-WRT in order to run a FON access point. Since I had the V6 version I had to jump through a few additional hoops, removing vxworks and installing a micro Linux binary on the router. Very useful pages at bitsum. I plan to complete the FON installation and configuration next weekend. Will update then.

So Sue Me......

Expand the image below to see an e-mail message that was sent to a web site admin. This really happened!

August 19: Open Source & Amazon Video

Just found a CM Journal article that was published last year entitled Open Source Development Community Drives Processes Benefiting Enterprise Applications. Length-wise it's little more than an abstract. I'll dig out the full paper on which this was based and post it.

Friday morning Arstechnica ran a story about screenshots of Amazon's new video web store.
Story was picked up by Slashdot, Digg and others:

• Downloadable Movies from Amazon - posted on Slashdot on Saturday
• Screenshots of Amazon's new video web store hit the web - posted on Digg Friday

News is getting kinda 'same-y' these days...

Oh, and read the reviews for Tuscan Whole Milk on Amazon. But don't be drinking said milk at the time unless you want it to be ejected from your nose at high velocity. You have been warned.

More Numbers.....

Seems like the "paint a number - make a sale" business model is being pursued by more than one artist. Anthony White also has a number series. I'm not overly excited by Anthony's artwork - looks like the daubings of a chimpanzee on crack, however you can buy it in varying currencies and it is multi-colored. The fact that he's created his own "secondary market" is quite impressive - even though it appears that he's buying back his own artwork for more than for which he sold it. Smart move there Anthony.

Update: 17 August. Seems like Anthony White is a little tetchy. At least I didn't liken his artwork to that which is created by elephants in Thailand - but wait, maybe I should look again? I'm working on my own wonderful business opportunity to sell plastic and metal scuptures of numbers based on some wacko bit of 2nd grade math. Get those credit cards ready..!

Update: 18 August. I had a call this morning from the legal representatives of the Elephant Sri-Siam, currently in residence at the Thai Elephant Conservation Center. They cautioned me about comparing the primitive splotchings of Anthony White to the elegantly executed paintings of their clients, especially Sri-Siam. Below is an original elephant painting created by Sri-Siam on elephant dung paper. It's entitled "Daawk Sunng" ("Tall Flowers") (actually 'Daawk Sunng' translates on Babel fish as "bean sprouts, pad thai and rice", so I'm not really sure). I'll leave the decision regarding which artist is the better, elephant or Anthony, to the reader....

Boomzilla as a Graph

Created this image of Boomzilla using a cool applet that lets you see the HTML structure of your blog or website as graph. People who have created them for their websites are posting them on Flickr and tagging them websitesasgraphs. Here are a few examples, including CNN, Apple and Yahoo.

The Beast of a Number

http://www.onethousandpaintings.com/home/


....So what you get is a painting, which is a canvas, 30 cm * 30 cm, 4 cm, thick. It's white and it has this blue number number on it. That's it. It's signed, of course, and it has an "up to 19 digits" number on the back, which is sort of a password for that specific number.

...the "value" of a painting, i.e. the full price of a painting, is simply 1000 USD minus the number...the lower the number the more expensive it is...

Number 1 - if it was still available - would go for $999... initally, you just had to pay 10% of this amount. And then, after a 100 paintings are sold, you have to pay 20%, and after another hundred, it's 30%, and so on. And the last hundred numbers that are sold will go for the full price. So, it's a bit like the stock market: The more people buy, the more expensive it gets.

Criss Angel reveals his levitation trick

Check out the video at http://media.putfile.com/Criss-Angel-reveal-his-levitation-trick - Awsome video of Criss demonstrating how he levitates several feet into the air.