Amazon.com - Most Expensive Items of 2006

Amazon.com has a page that lists the most expensive items purchased in 2006. You thought Amazon sold books, DVD's and CD - right? Check out the list which includes an $11,000 copy of the Oxford Dictionary of Niational Biography and an $11,500 Hermes purse. Don't forget to add anything you like to your wish list. You never know, you may have a secret admirer just rolling in cash.

All the THX Trailers

8 minutes worth of THX trailers. My favorites, Star Wars Deathstar, the cow in the can and the Simpsons. The best - Shrek. Enjoy!

Strolling down the Avvenu

Received a note last week from Richard French, CEO of Avvenu.com. Richard and I worked together at VA Software a few years back. Avvenu has just released the beta version of the Avvenu Music Player that lets you share up to 250 songs on-line. When you choose playlists from your PC to share, the playlists and songs are automatically copied to Avvenu's secure media center for reliable, streaming playback. Once your songs and playlists are copied to Avvenu's media center, you don't even have to leave your PC powered on.

I love it -- but I think the RIAA will be shutting them down in short order. I get that whole MP3.com deja vu thing......

It's great fun being an illegal alien

The Honorable Paul S. Sarbanes
309 Hart Senate Office Building
Washington, DC 20510

Dear Senator Sarbanes,

As a naturalized US citizen and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you. My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted.

If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year. Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,

Smoke on the Bush

I love it when I learn something new. I especially love the feeling when I receive an explanation for something that I've really never cared about, but where the explanation is so mind bogglingly cool and/or interesting that I just have to tell *everyone* (and due apologies to the folks with whom I work at Amazon.com - I've been telling this story incessantly this week.....)

'Smoke on the Water' - that fine song to which I'm sure we've all often hummed and banged our heads. But what is it really about? Who is 'Funky Claude'? Why was the band in Switzerland? And why did the firing of a flare gun cause so much consternation? I give to you two links:

1. Wikipedia: Smoke on the Water - the history
   
2. LyricsFreak: Smoke on the Water - the lyrics
   

Read the history and then read the lyrics. If you don't smite your own head and say "Gosh - *that's" what it meant", then I'm buying the beer. And for those of you that knew the story years ago and who really did not benefit from this post, I give you a short IM interaction:

IM'er 1: Bush ain't THAT bad...he kinda knows what he's doin
IM'er 2: Please, Monica Lewenski had more President in her than George Bush ever will.

Good day.

Powerful Art

Stumbled on the (a?) website exhibiting work of Susan Stockwell with whom I was at high school in the UK. We graduated in 1980. I'll always remember Susan from her wonderful performance in Billy Liar. The unexpected crashing into a ladder that we incorporated into the play was both inspired and, I'm sure, painful. Looks like Susan has a successful career both behind and ahead of her.

The piece above is 'Organ' [2005], form drawn with coffee and graphite based on a map of Africa, studies of a heart and liver and Rhino skin. I've dropped Susan a note to see where I can buy some of her work. I'm very impressed with her map works, amongst others.

Microsoft Worried OEM 'Craplets' Will Harm Vista

Post on Slashdot today: "Microsoft Worried OEM 'Craplets' Will Harm Vista" An article at the CBC indicates that Microsoft is worried that the assorted crap most OEM companies load onto a new machine may affect users' opinion of Vista. An unnamed executive is concerned that the user will conclude the instability of the non-MS-certified applications is Vista's fault. Is this a serious concern, or is MS trying to bully OEMs into only including Vista-certified apps?"

Well duh. MS has always tried to control as much as it possibly can with respect to OEM distribution's of Windows. Anyway, the real point of this is that I just love the word "Craplet". There is no Wikipedia reference to the word (however the day isn't yet over.....). Jargon watch defines it thus:

crapplet: n.

[portmanteau, crap + applet] A worthless applet, esp. a Java widget attached to a web page that doesn't work or even crashes your browser. Also spelled ‘craplet’.

I loved it so much that I've just registered www.craplets.com and pointed at this blog. Who knows, I may even launch an OEM craplet index website. If you are visiting this blog via www.craplets.com, "hi". Add a comment and tell me what you expected to find at www.craplets.com.

If you get this.....

Why do elephants have Big Ears?
Because Noddy won't pay the ransom.

You'll get this too:

"Here are the football results: Real Madrid one, Surreal Madrid fish"

Random Airport Madness

There’s something about airports that brings out the lunacy in many (all?) of us. Two example from today:

My flight from SJC was delayed by over an hour. No communication from Alaska via the notification phone number or e-mail address I had provided them during the process of purchasing my ticket on-line. To kill a few minutes, and a few brain cells, I wandered into the travel themed bar (Flights and Bytes?) and sat down to await a waitperson. The gal behind the bar stared at me occasionally while she busied herself with the very occasional patron. After about five minutes it became very clear that there was to be no table service. I debated continually staring at the bar tender to see how long it would be before she confirmed said “no table service” status. Hunger and thirst overtook me. I grudgingly levered myself out of my seat and stepped up to the bar. It was like the bar tender was seeing me for the first time. “What can I get you” she said. I paused a fraction of a second debating internally if I should pass comment on the lack of recognition and her inability (lack of desire?) to communicate with anyone past the border of her bar. As I began to respond “Corona and Tuna Sandwich” she wandered off. Clearly a fraction of a second being too long a period beyond which she should waste her valuable time on me. She eventually drifted back and took my order. She seemed confused that I wanted to pay for my food and beverage at that time (rather than wait a second eternity to get the check….). That troubling chasm crossed, she asked me where I would like my food. “At my table” I replied as I gestured to the table where she had watched me sit, un-tended, for five minutes. As I moved back to my table I overheard her placing my order with the fellow who tended the kitchen. Very impressively, he was back not two minutes later with my order – which he then preceded to place on the table next to mine, that table being empty and me seated at the table next to it being the only other patron within spitting distance. Obviously the bar tender had given him a table number and gosh-darn-it he was going to deliver the meal to the table to which he had been directed. No matter that there was no one sitting there – a trifling element of data that was not to sway him one whit.

I retrieved my meal and ate. The sandwich was more suited for scouring a floor clean than for human consumption. However I was hungry.

Later, as I exited the security check point I overheard a conversation between a TSA employee and a family traveling to the Pacific Northwest. As the TSA employee waved around two jars of what appeared to be home-made jam, she explained to mom, dad and assorted children that such items are not permitted on the plan. Mon, dad and assorted children looked pretty put out upon hearing this news. “But that’s grandpa’s jam!” exclaimed mom. The fact that it was a gift from grandpa, or perhaps was intended as a gift for grandpa, made it no less lethal in the eyes of the TSA. Interestingly mom, dad and assorted children had walked past three signs explaining the dangers of moist items, had responded in the negative to two TSA agents when asked if they had liquids with them, and had failed to hear a repeatedly broadcast announcements about the terrors that could be unleashed in the skies if they took liquids, jells or similar with them aboard a plane. Clearly they have no TV at home nor do they read newspapers or listen to the radio. They were completely unaware that grandpa’s slightly watery-looking jam could be such a potentially dangerous munition. Perhaps the worst it could do in their eyes was to give grandpa a touch of gas. In the eyes of the TSA it was potentially a potent acid or explosive accelerant. Offers from the assorted children to sample the jam (with or without toast) were derided by the TSA as the cunning ruses of skillful terrorists (or so it looked like they were thinking of saying). As I wandered away they were all arguing if grandpa’s jam could be safely dropped into a white plastic bag, wrapped with a coat and checked as luggage. I suspected not – but would have loved to have been at the arriving end to see what sort of mess came out onto the luggage carrousel (unless TSA or baggage staff had not swiped it for a touch of cream tea and scones in the afternoon….).

To cap off my day, there were no ground crew waiting for the arrival of my flight. We sat for about five minutes just yards away from the gate while staff scurried around looking for their high-tech orange glowing sticks with which to wave us forward the last few feet of our trip. Perhaps the arrival of a Boeing 737 was a big frackin' surprise to them. Little too large to miss I would venture to guess, but what do I know about the wonders of airport management? Perhaps they were busy enjoying scones and grandpa’s jam with TSA staff?

.

The Last 34 Miles

Much like the telecom industry, many eCommerce travails concern the last mile (or last 34 miles in my case) - the act of getting data (or packages) the last few feet to the residential location.

I ordered an item from Amazon last week, on the 19th December to be precise. It was packaged and handed to UPS within about an hour of my order being placed. I'm a Prime member so shipping is 2 days - in fact Amazon confirmed that delivery would occur on December 21. Click on the graphic above to see a snapshot of the UPS tracking page. Bottom line here is that my package made it from Louisville, KY to Oakland CA by midnight December 20. And there it has sat. I live about 34 miles from Oakland. I could have walked to Oakland and back in the last three days. It's now late night December 24 and UPS still has my package (and still claim on their website that they will deliver it by December 21 (perhaps they have a time machine with which I have not been previously familar)). And I'm not just picking on UPS here - I also have another package, ordered the same day, that is being delivered by DHL (Prime, 2 day delivery for which the only information DHL will disclose is that it was picked up on December 19 and is "in transit" - to where I have no idea. But it sure as heck is not to my house....).

Bring on commercial grade, inexpensive 3d-printers I say. In fact, create 3d-printers and have them as their first job print other 3d printers. I can see it coming. Soon as the markets open after Christmas I'm shorting UPS, DHL, Eagle, FedEx and the rest of the bunch.

www.endless.com

Going live on Monday 11 December, www.endless.com a new website from Amazon.com. Below is the "friends and family" invitation. Please try it out and tell us what you think.



As you may be aware, we've been working hard on a new initiative in our shoes and handbag categories. We'd like to extend to you a personal invitation to to be the first to shop At Amazon.com's new web site, Endless.com.

We've built Endless.com to provide you with an innovative new shopping experience for shoes and handbags. Endless.com allows you to shop your way— using our easy category, brand, size, color, or price selections. Best of all, we will deliver your purchase to you overnight— FREE. (Really!)

We hope you'll take a few minutes to shop around the store, and please let us know what you think by sending an e-mail to Tell us what you like, what you don't like, and what you'd like to see done differently. We appreciate your feedback!

JL421 Badonkadonk

We've all had those days, dreary, overcast with the high likelihood of drizzle. What you really need to banish the blues of the grey is a JL421 badonkadonk ($19,999 MSRP) available from Amazon.com. Load up four of your closest pals, paintball guns and tube socks for all, and hit the playa in armored comfort. Clocking in at a swift (if not bumpy) 40mph, the 'donk' ensures that your and your chums can enter the fray, account well of yourself and still make it home in time for tea and crumpets with nary a stain on your "Live free or die" tie-dye t-shirts. Order now to avoid disappointment.

Iggy and the rider

Finally a concert rider that makes sense and has a sense of humor. And from no other that Iggy and the Stooges. Thought the Fark Miss GA thread was funny? This is as good. Skip through the backline requirements if you like (and if you don't know much about musical instruments and PA systems it won't make much sense. But funny, whoo!) to the dressing room requirements. I especially like the request for a Bob Hope impersonator. And the BMW. Do take the time to read what the road manager thinks about stage lighting and lighting designers. And Broccoli.

Flight Patterns

Here are a set of wonderful visualizations of air traffic as seen by the FAA. This short video time reduces air traffic to virtual con-trails. It's amazing to see a new day announced via the light of the dawn of the volume of air traffic, east to west.

Swamp Donkey?

Yes this is cruel, but good grief, what were the organizers of the Miss Georgia pageant thinking when they posted this bevy of, ahem, beauties? I thank the readers and posters at Fark for providing the only reasonable response possible. I nearly barfed up a lung laughing at the Fark thread. Thanks John!

A short story

"This story concerns the publisher of a stock newsletter who sends out 64,000 letters extolling his state-of-the-art database, his inside contacts, and his sophisticated econometric models. In 32,000 of these letters he predicts a rise in some stock index for the following week, say, and in 32,000 of them he predicts a decline. Whatever happens, he sends a follow-up letter but only to those 32,000 to whom he's made a correct "prediction." To 16,000 of them he predicts a rise for the next week, and to 16,000 a decline. Again, whatever happens, he will have sent 2 consecutive correct predictions to 16,000 people. Iterating this procedure of focusing exclusively on the winnowed list of people who have received only correct predictions, he can create the illusion in them that he knows what he's talking about. After all, the 1,000 or so remaining people who have received 6 straight correct predictions (by coincidence) have a good reason to cough up the $1,000 the newsletter publisher requests: They want to continue to receive these "oracular" pronouncements."

Steampunk Laptop

A most wonderful working Steampunk laptop (additional pictures). How I would love one of these. I do have a number of Corona portable typewriters from the early 20th century that could be pressed into such service. However I'm afraid I don't have the time nor the patience to build one. Default: Curta.

Slingzilla!

The newly deployed 1.84Tb server I've built over the past few weeks has been augmented by:

• •Tivo Series 2 running the Galleon open source app (adds many media-server capabilities to the default Tivo app)
• Slingbox Av. Used to route Server and Tivo contents to wherever I want said contents. Even streaming over a reasonably poorly performing wireless network the audio and video resolution from the Slingbox is amazing. The fact that I can now access all my music, videos and images stored on the server from wherever I can get internet access is most pleasing.

Baby's for Sale on Amazon - 16% off!

I see that Amazon.co.jp has a special offer on babies this week. 16% off - no limit on the number you purchase. And they come in such cute containers. Shop early. Shop often.

Speaking of Laser ...er....Rayguns.....

From the site "Rayguns":

FMOM Industries - Wave Disrupter Gun

Are you genetically pre-disposed to not wanting to blow your face to bits? Then, by crikey, this may not be the device for you - Try a kite!

But, if you're a man, then send large money orders forthwith and procure yourself FMOM's latest and greatest. Built from the exacting plans of the famed Dr. Grordbort, and reinforced with purest Tremontium, this little tiger will turn your foes to a slurry!

Why, just in time for Christmas! Super molecular-disrupting fun for the little one's. Methinks I will take two of these and a nickle-finished Neurodistruptor with extra powerpack and sights.